In the 2015 animated movie How To Train Your Dragon from DreamWorks Studios, there’s a great scene between the main character Hiccup (Jay Baruchel) and Astrid (America Ferrera). Both are young Vikings. Both have the goal of killing a dragon. Even in the 2025 live-action remake of How To Train Your Dragon, we find a similar scene.
When Hiccup failed to kill a dragon, he was expelled from his tribe. His father disowned him. He lost his best friend.
Photo by Josh Calabrese on Unsplash
It was a challenge for Hiccup. Why didn’t Hiccup kill the dragon? He didn’t kill the dragon because he saw himself in the dragon. Just another scared creature. Here’s the exchange between Hiccup and Astrid after he got kicked out of the tribe:
Astrid: It’s a mess. You must feel horrible. You’ve lost everything. Your father, your tribe, your best friend…
Hiccup: Thank you for summing that up.
[silence]
Hiccup: Why couldn’t I have killed that dragon when I found him in the woods? Would have been better for everyone…
Astrid: Yep. The rest of us would have done it. So why didn’t you?
[pauses]
Astrid: Why didn’t you?
Hiccup: I don’t know… I couldn’t.
Astrid: That’s not an answer.
Hiccup: *Why* is this so important to you all of a sudden?
Astrid: Because I want to remember what you say, *right now*.
Hiccup: Oh, for the love of… I was a coward! I was weak! I wouldn’t kill a dragon!
Astrid: You said *wouldn’t*, that time.
Hiccup: Agh, whatever… I *wouldn’t*! Three hundred years, and I’m the first Viking who wouldn’t kill a dragon!
[pause]
Astrid: First to ride one, though. So…?
Hiccup: I wouldn’t kill him, because he looked as frightened as *I* was. I looked at him… and I saw myself.
Hiccup saw himself in the dragon, Toothless. Toothless was alone, scared, and afraid. The reflection Hiccup saw overrode any Viking upbringing he had. He saw and felt himself in another. Seeing himself caused him to pause, reflect, and choose another path.
The Purpose Of Seeing Yourself In Others
Seeing yourself in others can be considered a form of empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.
That’s a reflection, right? That’s seeing yourself in someone else?
So, what’s the purpose of seeing yourself in someone else? What’s the purpose of empathy?
There’s power in seeing yourself in others. It helps you connect, relate to, and understand what others are going through. Sometimes, it can even remind you of who you are or where you came from.
As we rise up the ladder of leadership, we become increasingly distant from who we once were. Whether that was a busboy in a bustling restaurant struggling to pay for your studio apartment in New York City, a cowhand on the local ranch in a small town in Michigan, or a kid who traveled with her family as they moved from city to city because of your father’s time in the military.
Seeing yourself in others will help you ground yourself.
You’ll also find yourself giving more grace to those you lead. You may recall a similar mistake you made. And, maybe, just maybe, the leader above you saw your potential and offered grace to you. She saw the potential in you and the mistake before you. The potential overrode any excessive disciplinary action, allowing you to keep your job. Eventually, you rose to who you are today because she saw herself in you.
The purpose of seeing yourself in others is to remind you of where you came from/who you are, and to help others overcome their missteps because you’ve been there and done that. Do your best to see yourself in those you lead.
