You did a terrible job. How could you call that finished? Did you even try?
Reading those words probably sent a visceral reaction through your body. You might have cringed. There may have been a tinge of pain. You may have even cried a little.
That’s because words carry meaning and power when spoken. They give life to the thoughts living inside your head.
Rev J. Martin once said, “Words are free. It’s how you use them that may cost you.” And it’s true.
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Are You Using The Right Words?
You may be struggling to get a team member to do what you want them to. You’ve talked to them multiple times. You’ve had one-on-one conversations. All with the hope that something will change.
But nothing does.
Or maybe you’re struggling in your marriage. You want things to get better. You talk it out, yet nothing changes. It hurts. It feels like you’re lost in a never-ending battle to win the love of your spouse.
You feel stuck…
I want to encourage you today to check your words. The words you’re using to communicate with another person matter.
Have you ever visited a foreign country? One that doesn’t speak your language? Then you know how much the right words matter.
When Pamela and I visited Japan, we knew very little Japanese. We still know very little Japanese. Thankfully, the people of Japan had more command of the English language than we did of the Japanese language.
Finding and using the right words with them mattered. The same goes for your employees, family members, and friends.
We all have our own internal language. Words that mean one thing to you may mean a completely different thing to the person you’re communicating with. Using the wrong words could lead to a complete misunderstanding or blow-up.
Find The Right Words
Finding the right words to use when communicating with others is difficult. But you can do it.
To find the right words, try the following:
Ask what they heard:
Take the time to ask what the other party heard. You’re giving them the chance to communicate what they heard, even how they heard it. You can begin to understand how they hear you.
You can then begin to craft your words so they sound the way you hear them but they connect with the other person. You can improve your communication with them.
Ask what they meant:
Sometimes, we hear the words spoken by another person and completely misunderstand them. The same way they misunderstand us. What if you took the time to ask someone what they meant?
If they’re willing, they will explain their words. And you can begin to understand and decipher their unique language.
Pause and listen:
There are times when we just have to pause and be quiet. Let the other person speak. The more you hear them, the more you understand them, the more you can begin to pick up on their vernacular.
Being quiet can be a great way to find the right words to speak to them.
